Taming the Tantrums: Can Buteyko Breathing Help with Emotional Regulation in Children?

 

Let’s be honest, tantrums are exhausting. You’re in the middle of the grocery store, trying to grab a gallon of milk, and suddenly, your child is on the floor, flailing like a fish out of water because you said no to candy. You try reasoning, bribing, distracting, but nothing works. Their emotions are in full meltdown mode, and you’re left wondering what you did to deserve this mini tornado in your life.

What if I told you the real culprit may not be their "defiant personality" or a sugar crash, but their breathing?

Why Breathing Matters More Than You Think

Breathing is something we rarely pay attention to until it’s a problem. And for many kids, it is a problem.

The way they breathe affects everything from brain function to nervous system balance. When a child over-breathes (which is common with mouth breathing), it disrupts their CO2 levels, throwing their body into a state of stress.

This means:

· They are more likely to feel overwhelmed by small frustrations.

· They struggle to self-soothe and regulate emotions.

· Their nervous system stays on high alert, making them more reactive.

And what do we get? More tantrums, more meltdowns, and a child who constantly seems to be on edge.

Here’s where it gets even more interesting. Breathing patterns directly impact how a child experiences emotions. When CO2 levels drop due to over-breathing, the brain becomes more excitable, making emotions feel bigger than they really are. A minor inconvenience (like a sibling taking their toy) suddenly feels like an unbearable injustice, triggering a full-blown meltdown.

You may notice that your child seems to have two extremes: either bouncing off the walls with excitement or completely melting down in frustration. This could be because their breathing is keeping them in a state of physiological imbalance, preventing them from smoothly transitioning between emotions.

The good news? Breathing is the one thing we can control. Just like teaching kids to eat healthy or get enough sleep, guiding them toward proper breathing habits can have huge benefits, not just for their emotional health, but for their overall well-being.

The Buteyko Method: A Breathwork Solution for Emotional Regulation

The Buteyko Breathing Method is a scientifically-backed approach to retraining the way we breathe. Unlike other breathwork techniques that emphasize deep breathing, Buteyko Breathing focuses on gentle nasal breathing, reducing breath volume, and improving CO2 tolerance, all of which play a vital role in emotional regulation, stress reduction, and cognitive function.

Why does this matter for kids?

Because the way they breathe affects the way they feel, and how they react to the world around them.

Think about it for a moment.

When a child is upset, they don’t take slow, measured breaths. They gasp for air, hyperventilate, or even hold their breath in frustration. These erratic breathing patterns reinforce stress and dysregulation, making it nearly impossible for them to calm down on their own.

If you’ve ever watched a toddler mid-tantrum, you’ve probably noticed their breathing is fast, shallow, and loud. This isn’t just a symptom of being upset; it’s a physiological response that makes it even harder for them to calm down.

Children who habitually over-breathe, breathe through their mouth, or breathe erratically often have nervous systems that are stuck in overdrive. Their bodies are constantly preparing for danger.

On the flip side, children who breathe slowly, through their noses, and with relaxed control have nervous systems that are better able to:

· Stay calm under stress.

· Pause before reacting emotionally.

· Recover more quickly from frustration.

· Regulate emotions independently, without needing constant parental intervention.

In other words, breathing is the foundation of self-regulation. If a child is constantly breathing in a way that signals stress, their body will continue to produce stress hormones, keeping them stuck in fight-or-flight mode.

But if a child breathes in a way that signals safety, their nervous system relaxes, making them naturally more emotionally stable and resilient.

Let’s break down exactly how this works.

Better Emotional Control

One of the biggest struggles parents face is dealing with a child who goes from perfectly happy to full-blown meltdown mode in seconds. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and, if we’re being honest, completely baffling.

But here’s the thing: impulse control starts with the breath.

A child who breathes shallowly and rapidly through their mouth is more likely to react impulsively. Their brain and body aren’t getting enough oxygen, making them quick to frustration, tears, or anger.

On the other hand, a child who breathes slowly and through their nose is more likely to pause before reacting. Their nervous system isn’t in a constant state of alarm, so they can actually process their emotions before acting on them.

Improved Sleep = Improved Behavior

Let’s face it: a well-rested child is a completely different child than an overtired one.

But here’s the problem. Many kids who struggle with emotional regulation aren’t just having bad days; they’re chronically sleep-deprived due to poor breathing habits at night.

Mouth breathing while sleeping leads to:

· Fragmented, restless sleep (because the body isn’t fully oxygenated).

· Snoring and sleep apnea (which disrupt deep sleep cycles).

· More nighttime wakeups (leading to fatigue and irritability the next day).

Sleep-deprived kids tend to be:

· Hyperactive and impulsive (because their bodies are trying to stay alert).

· Emotionally volatile (because their brain’s ability to regulate emotions is compromised).

· Prone to tantrums and meltdowns (because they lack the energy to manage their emotions).

Mouth-breathing disrupts the deep, restorative sleep cycles that children need for memory retention and learning, emotional stability, and physical growth.

And it’s not just about quantity of sleep; it’s about quality. A child who sleeps eight hours but breathes poorly at night will still wake up exhausted, cranky, and prone to emotional outbursts.

Correcting mouth breathing and improving nasal airflow leads to better sleep, which leads to better behavior without needing more discipline, timeouts, or rewards.

The First Step to Fewer Tantrums? Fix the Breathing

If you’ve tried every parenting strategy under the sun but your child still struggles with big emotions, it's time to look at their breathing.

Helping your child switch from mouth breathing to nasal breathing doesn't just help improve their mood; it’s also a great way to improve their brain function, sleep quality, and overall well-being. And that can lead to calmer days, fewer meltdowns, and a happier, more emotionally resilient child.

If you’re ready to learn more, the Buteyko Breathing Center offers expert guidance to help parents retrain their child’s breathing in a safe, effective way.

· Sasha Yakovleva’s books, Adenoids Without Surgery and Breathe to Heal, provide detailed, science-backed strategies for parents.

· One-on-one sessions are available for families who need step-by-step support to help children transition to healthy breathing.

Emotional regulation starts with the breath.

Let’s help our kids breathe and feel better.